I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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