I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
high people should be assigned attendants
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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