I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
