Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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