I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
