He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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