I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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