Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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