dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
