he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
