Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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