I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
