Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
