So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
