I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
