so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
