nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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