What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
