Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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