so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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