i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
