I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
