Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
