Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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