I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
