similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
