there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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