Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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