I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
