Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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