Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
