I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Randomize
