I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
