google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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