i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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