I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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