i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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