Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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