No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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