Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I would fuck him just for his dog
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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