Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
