2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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