my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
