Just fell off a train. Bad.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
