just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
