the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
