She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
