my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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