but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
