what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
