dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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