Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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