it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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