taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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