I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
