The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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