we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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