Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My dick has a subreddit
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
