I wish I only lived at night.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
